What I'm learning....

Slowly but surely, I'm trying to better my life. I'm destressing, decluttering, delittering everything....from the house to my emotions. I'm trying to learn that with doing this, I'm going to become a better wife, mother, daughter and friend to everyone including myself.

I have always been a worry wort, but with the arrival of each child came a new found sense of fear, worry, and stress about every "what if" imaginable. From illness to money, I'd freak out about it before there was even anything to worry about. I was keeping me from keeping up with the kids, the house....life. I was missing out on so much because I was so worried about everything it was making me very depressed and I didn't even realise it. I thought it was just the way I was. I don't like that person and I'm trying very hard to change her.

This sound very cliche, but getting up in the morning and going to the gym has helped. I think that is has because I'm starting the change with myself. If I'm feeling good than I'll want to come home and clean, play with the kids, wait up for my husband. So not only are the kids getting more of me, but the love of my life isn't having to come home to a messy, cluttered house and a wife that is already asleep, because that's all she wants to do. He gets to come home and have someone there, up and waiting to hear about his day, and just talk to each other like we used to. Bless his heart, he loves me to much to complain about me, but I know he could see there was something not right with me. He just adjusted himself to it and went on. But I love these people way to much to make them adjust to the way I was.

I'm learning to let things go more. I'm thinking things were all a mess because I was trying to hard to make everything perfect and in turn making them worse. Not letting things work themselves out, I was pushing and the hard I pushed and tried to fix problems, the harder I was making it for them to straighten out on it's own. If there is a glitch in life, I'll try to fix it, but if that doesn't work, then I'll know to just let things happen. I'm hoping in doing that, life will be smoother and my emotions will be better also. Maybe listening to my guides more, will help...they know better than I do!

So, here's to the end of another year. I have to say it was a good one, but I'm hoping with the end of the old me, and the beginning of a new year,the new L will be even better!!

Love to all,
L


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.


L